East Meets Worst.

Okay. I am not going to belabor the issue, but this post is long overdue. I’ve recently had a number of conversations about the same topic (albeit in varied forms), and it seems that annoying typeface is a ghost with many minions whose haunting presence stalks even the best of us. And while the traditional players in this face-off of frustrating fonts—Comic Sans, Curlz, and Lucida (in her many varieties)—never fail to rear their ugly heads, I feel that one perpetrator in particular always manages to scrape by unmentioned: Papyrus. Man. Even typing it in Times gives me the chills.

For the record, that Papyrus is a terrible, hack-y font is no original observation; there are myriads of websites dedicated to denouncing the typeface and its vapid overuse. (My personal faves are the oh-so-ironic I [heart] Papyrus and Papyrus Watch.) But here, I am concerned with a larger problem…

I have always tried to articulate what, exactly, is wrong with Papyrus, but I’ve usually just settled for my friend Hussam’s beautifully understated description: “hella Orientalist.” It’s not so much the reference to Egypt per se that annoys me, but how ubiquitous Papyrus is when concerning issues of the Middle East. I cringe wherever I see this font employed as a reference to the East-- flyers advertising a campus exhibit of “Eastern art,” coupons to the new falafel place that just opened up around the corner, a new Egyptian Musk-scented oil by Glade! Yes, I get it. Egypt. Papyrus: So old! It was the first paper. Let’s let it represent all that is ancient, weathered, and borderline irrelevant. You’re abusive and trite. Get out of here, you tattered, tired typeface.

Wicked!

I was intrigued (shocked to the core even) to learn that the designer of this typefa(r)ce, Chris Costello, created Papyrus in 1982 with ancient Egypt in mind. His website even includes a little preview of how one might utilize his brilliant creation. So… basically, unless you’re doing a Powerpoint presentation on Akhnaton for your 5th grade Social Studies class (as Costello’s earth-shattering production seems to suggest), please steer clear, and don’t use this font for anything vaguely Eastern. Just…Please. For me.

Find some other way to convey that whatever you will discuss/ sell/ exhibit is old or mysterious or exotic or Eastern... Circle the “E” on a picture of a cracked and rusty compass, whatever. Just no more Papyrus.